Seeking

23 Ramat Park, Isakor,
Ikpoba Ogha Local Government,
Edo State, Nigeria.

Dear friend in Christ,

Calvary Greetings in Jesus name. It is a great
blessing writing you from Nigeria. I hope all is
well with you this moment and pray that this
letter meet you well in Christ.

By His grace I am a Christian and I gave my life
to Christ 6 years ago. I am married with two
children. I am now working as a part time clerk
in an office where I earn just little to keep going
for now. Please help me pray for a permanent
job. There is computer email in the office where
I serve so I am able to reach you. I am a
member of Life and Light Bible Church which is
a small but living church with about 20
members. I serve in the outreach arm of the
church and we go out for evangelism winning
souls. Not every one can go to house to house
evangelism because many are busy so they find
time to do their personal evangelism in their
place of work and on their way home. There is
great joy in reaching out to the unsaved. A lot
of time my heart tells me that I have not done
much for Christ but in evangelism I know that
I am doing much.

In our house to house evangelism lat year we
converted a very nice couple Mr. & Mrs. Aduno
Seye and although they do not fellowship in my
church I go to see them every week to pray and
comfort them. They fellowship in a near by
church to their house because they cannot trek
the distance to my church. They are almost 80
years old and they are very committed to Christ.
They have been in need of bibles because they
cannot buy. I want to appeal to you on their
behalf to please send two bibles for them.
There are also a couple in my church Mr. & Mrs.
Fajuyi also need bibles which are giant print.
They are aged couples who came to our church
September last year. They are also very
committed but poor in finance to buy bibles.
The bibles with giant print of words will be the
good one because of their sight. If you can get
the ones with the super print it will be better for
them. Please help them. I need a strongs
exhuastive bible concordance for my use. This
book has a lot of help in bible study and
research. Please help me for one. I cannot
afford it. Thank you for this wonderful help and
may the Lord bless you as you help. Please
send the bibles through my residential address
above and please send the bibles by insured
postage for safe delivery.

Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me
under the shadow of thy wings, Psalm 17:8

I can look up to you oh dearest Father in
heaven, and know that I am dear unto thee as
the apple of your eye. All the saints of God are
dear to God at all times, but the persecuted
saints, they are the apple of God s eye. If at
any time they are dear to God, then especially
when they are most persecuted. As the eye of
the believer is ever toward the Lord and as the
eye of the believer searches the words of life to
find comfort and deliverence, so does the eye
of God looks in tender care over our every
need. The eye of God find sweet fellowship in
those who watch intently towards Him and trust
in His loving care.

In Christ,
Evbierire Ukponabius

The discernment process in my diocese worked. However, as is often the case when dealing with God, the answer is different than I first thought/hoped. I thought and prayed about the whole thing for a really long time and asked many different questions.

The end result of the whole thing is: Ordained ministry is not for now.

1. God is a persistent God. If I am meant to enter ordained ministry, God will not stop calling.
2. If God keeps calling, I will be willing to discern again what God is calling me to do.


This journal will still be used for religious/theological musings as they happen to me.

What makes our actions service? Is it a willingness to work without compensation, is it a desire to help or give of our gifts, skills and abilities, must all service be hands-on or can it just as easily be paperwork or committee work? In my opinion, service can receive compensation, and it can be the work of heads and hearts just as easily as it can be the works of hands. Within the Church, serving on various committees, at altar, at coffee hour, etc. is very much like cleaning and maintaining a home. There are things to be done, and the energy of all house members is needed.

Often, I find myself as more of a fill-in servant for a season or two, I substitute in and help keep something going or use my skills to renovate some aspect of the task. Some of the services that I have done in the past and am doing now that I see have a set duration are:

1.Meals on Wheels—while I was in High School
2.St. Luke's Altar Guild
3.Center for Hospice and Palliative Care
4.St. Margaret's House
5.St. James' Bookstore
6.St. James' Ministry Internship
7.St. James' Screen Door Ministry
These services are transitional for a number of reasons, some because of circumstance changes and others are because I took the service on to help out (not because I felt called to do so for the next 30 years).

One of the harder parts of transitional service is knowing when to let go in a way that others involved do not feel abandoned. Knowing when to pass the torch onto someone else is the part I can sense. In some ways, it feels good to allow a ministry or service to be passed on. In other ways, it is difficult because when I commit myself to a task, I generally do so fully.

One obvious bit of service that I do in the Church and do not foresee having a time limit is serving at the altar. To me, it seems to be a timeless service and not a transitional thing. Another non-transitional service that I do is volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. I see myself helping build and renovate houses until I am no longer physically able to do so. Although it is not often seen as service, I believe that one of the biggest services that I contribute to the wider world is a spirit of sincere cheerfulness by trying to always greet everyone with a smile.

Service is one of those things that can be difficult to manage. How much time or commitment is enough? How much is too much? Too much in that it interferes with family life or psychological health. Hyper extension of time, energy, etc. is much more obviously dangerous than the opposite. Not participating in parish or community needs or not spending time serving can effectively stunt the growth of the individual and slows the growth and development of the organization.

In my experience, service is not taken up simply because it is enjoyable. It is accepted and fulfilled because it is necessary for the Church and the world. This is not to say that it should be a drudgery. People should choose to accept services that suit their temperaments and abilities. Through our respective services, we can change the world and do honor to our Lord.

For those of you who prefer Blogspot (Google), this same essay is posted http://sonje.blogspot.com/

In my life, I have had a fairly diverse experience of the sacred scriptures. In the past, I spent some time studying them in a nearly purely academic way, picking them apart into their component parts and negating the whole. During my senior year of undergraduate, I took classes on the New Testament and Old Testament simultaneously. The professor of that class taught me, and many other students, that the Holy Scriptures could be learned in an intellectual way without being negated as instruments of spiritual and faith instruction. We were encouraged to learn the history of the canon and the way in which the various parts of the Bible were written, but we were also encouraged to look at passages of scripture in detail and as a whole. The methodology was that of “old fashioned” biblical scholarship. We read the text, deconstructed the text, learned about its historical-textual context, and then put the stories back together and into their current and historical faith context. I learned to appreciate the beauty of the words and the continuing importance of the stories.
My incorporation into the Episcopal church was happening at the same time as the two classes that I took on the Bible. So, in addition to working with scripture in an intellectual way, I was experiencing the Gospel on a weekly basis in a ritual faith community. Having both methods at once was not discordant to me, but was one of the ways I believe that I have been able to integrate my intellectual thoughts with my heart thoughts. Sometimes, my intellect will analyze a passage of scripture in a way that makes the scripture passage seem silly, but my heart will resonate with either the beauty of the passage or the message that could be behind it.
One particular passage that has gained meaning for me since I've been willing to analyze it is the first part of Matthew, the begats. I took an Ottoman history class while abroad in Turkey and one of the big things we learned was the historic use of genealogy to prove authority of a king or other ruler. In that context, the begats become a little less cumbersome and are almost enjoyable in the same way that looking through grandma's old albums become enjoyable. Sometimes I get wrapped up in imagining what kind of people these names really were—some of them we have stories about, but many we do not.
I know that I have a lot to learn about the way in which our sacred story still works in my life. At this point, I know that I love to read the scriptures, even though reading them publicly still sets off my stage fright. I know that I'll always have questions about the particulars, but I hold hope that God will guide me in constructive ways towards Truth, I know that there will be times when working on scripture will be more of a discipline than a hobby, but I hope it will always be a joy.

My Prayer Life

Usually, I am happy with my prayer life. Even though I am not particularly good at the daily office or regular ritualized prayer, I still feel like I pray well. That is, I feel that I have a good connection with God and am able to communicate my concerns, praise, etc. It is only when I think about my prayer life versus what I perceive other people's (who I admire) prayer lives to be that I become insecure about my prayer life. Part of this is my perception that formalized prayer comes easily to other people. This perception has been changing because of my incorporating my husband into my attempts at the Daily Office.

My relationship with formal and formalized prayer is one of recent genesis, it simply was not used in my birth household and was first encountered when I found Judaism and then again when I found the Anglican church. Sometimes formalized prayer is downright boring, but other times it warms my very being. This sounds contradictory, but I think the great disparity in feeling is because of whatever my inner state is at the time—if I'm thinking about what needs to be done, I'm simply paying less attention to my prayer

When it comes praying formalized or ritual prayer alone, I sometimes feel inadequate. I get caught up in the hows: how should my body posture be, how loudly should I speak, how punctual should I be? The perfectionist in me has a tendency to berate my very human mistakes—like mixing up which year we are in for my readings, or accidentally reading the wrong collect. The perfectionist in me is slow to forgive and hardly ever forgets my clumsiness, timidity, and failings. Despite my inner perfectionist, I still strive to incorporate formal prayer in my daily life.

One type of prayer I do which my perfectionism has no hold is the spontaneous prayer. It can be silly. “God, thank you for bumblebees!” It can simply be conversation with God. This often is what I do when I am alone, communicating both aloud and silently. This form is as natural as breathing to me, and is most evident when I am performing a menial task like gardening or housework.

One thing that has been helping focus my solitary prayer is a ritual of making rope rosaries. As I make a “bead” on the rosary, I pray a hopeful or thankful prayer depending on who I intend to give the rosary to. If I have no intended recipient in mind, I pray for the world and give general thanksgivings.

Another part of my prayer life is being a LEM (Lay Eucharistic Minister). I feel lifted up to be an agent of delivery for the blood of Christ. Seeing in parishioners eyes the acceptance of redemption and absolute wonder, is a very full prayer beyond that of simply belonging to the same group. It is the feeling that we are all seeking to bathe in the wonder of the Eucharistic mystery.

When praying corporately, I prefer formal forms. Not only is there the practical part of having everyone on the same page, but there is a tremendous power that comes from more than one person saying the same words. It lends validity to beliefs and resonance to desires and praise. A voice alone might whisper, but it is nearly impossible to whisper in a group—even a whisper becomes a might shout. When I pray corporately, there is an amplified feeling of belonging, of being among friends and family. When I pray alone, it feels more like speaking to a lover or a dear friend. The two feelings, although similar are quite different. Alone, I am more willing to ask God questions and to rail against perceived injustices.

Been trying to do Morning prayer more regularly... I've been having my husband participate to keep me on task a bit better, so we tend to do the form for Individuals and Families:

Today, I decided we should do a creed.

He asked "why, do we need to fight some heresies today?"
I responded "I'm feeling heretical today, I need to do a creed."

I saw this on Ecce Quam Bonum

You’re Origen! You do nothing by half-measures. If you’re going to read the Bible, you want to read it in the original languages. If you’re going to teach, you’re going to reach as many souls as possible, through a proliferation of lectures and books. If you’re a guy and you’re going to fight for purity … well, you’d better hide the kitchen shears. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

I was tagged by Rev.Ref to do this meme
Rules:
1) Post six weird things about yourself;
2) Tag six (weird) people to do the same.

1. Sometimes I sing songs about everything--they are the kinds of songs that little kids sing when they are talking about mashed potatoes or daffodils. Often they follow a Benedictine chant pattern.

2. I bake my own bread--without a bread machine, with my hands. (I don't think this is weird, but I get a lot of weird looks when I say this, so it must be somewhat odd.)

3. I like to play role-playing games (Dungeons and Dragons, Exalted, Vampire, QUAGS, BESM, etc.) and have enough dice to supply a few people in any of those systems.

4. Given the choice between driving/riding in a vehicle and walking, I'd rather walk (especially in a bad snowstorm).

5. I have language failure--my brain often thinks in pictures and I sometimes have trouble converting those pictures into English words.. sometimes I have better luck making them into German words.

6. My loungewear is a samurai outfit.

Tag you're it:
megami_ryuu, talkingred, zephyrofgod, jennykr1, ambivalentduck, backseatgaffer

p2- Struggle between literalism and metaphorical fines stage in the priesthood today. Must one be socially revolutionary to be a good priest?
p3- (Yet more) books to read The Reformed Pastor by Richard Baxter and Servants of God by Karl Rahner.
p2-3- Breaks, sabbaticals, etc are important to prevent burnout and keep the message alive.
p6- Priesthood is no longer highly esteemed. Additionally, there is a necessity to have the priesthood of all believers and still maintain a clergy.
*Clergy provide structural stability and institutional memory.
"In the Church and for the Church he displays, he enables, he invites" Priest as symbol/representative for the whole church.
p7- The priest displays "in own person the total response to Christ to which all members of the Church are pledged."
p8- Reconciliation- Some of the priest's job has been taken over by health professionals. However, responsibility for actions and sins can be fulfilled in the church's sacraments. Priest preaches reconciliation and forgiveness.
*The priest doles out or brings the penitent's attention to forgiveness.
p9- Priest is man of prayer because of his knowledge with the concerns of the people of the church.
p11- translation provided on website in the book it is in Latin.
What are you, O priest?
You are not your own creation, because you come from nothing,
You do not exist to yourself alone, because you are an intercessor before God.
You do not exist for yourself alone, because you are married to the Church.
You do not belong to yourself, because you are the servant of all.
You are not just you, because you are God's minister.
What are you then? Nothing and everything,
O Priest.
p14-15- Prayer is moving toward God, even when we are not feeling pious or well composed. We can always tell God that we "want to want to want him". Sincerity is important and God takes care of the rest.
p15- "Being with God with the people on your heart" is the meaning of the Divine Office, the Eucharist, and all prayer and service of the people.
*Soaking ourselves in scripture and corporate prayer that reveals God's historic revelation and redemption is a healthy way of getting beyond ourselves (ego).
p17- Transcendent God is "found in the midst of secular experience"
*For example, when I garden or bake, I am struck with wonder and sense of the divine.
p22- I'm not sure I agree with his statement that disasters are signs of God's judgment.
p24- Be sensitive to the needs of God's people (poverty, injustice, etc)
p25- God is great in his revelation through the person of Jesus and does not need literalism to protect himself.
p26- God works through many different traditions far beyond our human understanding.
p28- Base axioms are very important. One method does not need to deny another (it is possible for 2 or more things to be equally true).
p30- Suffering for God is not defeat. Suffering is an origin of creativity.
Jesus Christ's teaching confused his followers yet they were able to learn/teach it later. "proving" that the resurrection happened.
p31- Bodily resurrection vs spiritual is not as important to the text as the fact of identity. Physical images in the text used as identifiers.
*Fidelity to the King is an important tie-over from the past to now.
p33- When we give up our selves we can be nearer to God. We can accomplish great things when we give up our ego/selfishness (including the "I can't" and the "I don't know if I am worthy")
p37- Conversion is a whole person thing. A parishioner has all sorts of other aspects. Christ wants the whole person.
*Taking people from their culture is an unjust and inaccurate way of following God.
p39- No matter what ills another community does, we must still repent of our own sins. God wants all to reconcile with him.
p40- Belief in God helps us not lose heart when we need to stand up for those in need.
p42- Caring for one person at a time is just as important as solving the world's problems.
p49- Communal penitence and sharing sins for communal forgiveness is an interesting/good phenomenon that reminds me of monastic confession in the Middle Ages" (I hated the beans, etc.)
p51- Be perpared to walk delicately and with skill in regards to confessional--both public and private.
p53 Confessional can break away feelings of failure and reveal God, renewing priest for work and people.
p55- When in doubt, tell the story of Christ.
p57- We must show the hand of Christ in all the sacraments both to others and to ourselves. Realizing God's living presence is a rejuvenating force.
p59- Remembering our own failures/mistakes and asking Christ's forgiveness helps minimize ego and increase awareness of God.
p63- Interruptions and distractions might have a higher purpose.
p67- Authority is in service-Christ serves us by cleansing us of our sins and giving us humility.
p70- Leading by example is hard to do and yet is easier than trying to verbally convince without a good example.
p73- Love all, maintain integrity, create a binding relationship between generations.
p74- Place service and frustration next to the "eternal Glory in Christ" which can be found in "midst of your present labours"
p77- Divine humility makes humans different. Being caretaker of divine mysteries of a humbled God is humbling in its greatness.
p78 Humility is hard to gain and hard to maintain.
p79- Thankfulness to God helps with humility. Thankful for waking up, breathing, sun, etc.
p80- *I should think about using sacramental confession.
It is hard to accept humiliations --must remember that they help get me closer to the humble and crucified God.
p81 Be willing to laugh about everything.
Be a good tool for God
p85- Always confess God's mercies in addition to confessing sins.
p87- Bring peace to fretting lives.
p91- "Our joy is the joy of those who are forgiven and forgiving." Hold fast on forgiveness.
p93 Sorrow makes joy deeper? Brings it beyond superficial happiness to deep joy.
p97- True authority continues only by being able to be relevant to each generation.
p111- The ordained priest is like a director in a play that reveals a depth of truth. God is the playwright and all people, including the priest, are the players.

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Crossposted at Blogspot

px- Through our living we are called.
p1- By being called into being, we are given the gifts necessary to create.
p2- We are called to reveal God's glory and expose a "new understanding"
We are called to be children of God and to become one with the Trinity
p3- God is as a lover, aways relentless, always loving.
p4- We are all to see holy Love... we are called to be complete and healthy.
p5- God's call is insistent and persistent. "He never gives up and goes away"
p6- Our busyness obscures God's call-when we give ourselves over to inner silence and contemplation, then we have a chance of choosing to be chosen.
p7- It is intimacy that God calls us to--to be lovers and friends of God.
"The exigency of our being is so great that it is spoken as a command. Yet love ever remains free. It is a call, a call to each one of us to awesome intimacy."
p9- Know God that you may fully love him. Love without knowledge is only surface sentiment.
p10- Cold intellectualism has no place in theology since prayer helps deepen revelation.
p11- We are all called to serve-our people, all people, God.
p15- "We are called to serve that we might be glorified."
-How does glorification work with humility? Are they not in contrast with one another?
p17- We are free to accept or refuse God's call- "This call of his is always a call to both intimacy and service so that we might the more fully share in his glory."
p28- Regarding ♀ ♀ or ♂ ♂: "We are all sinners...But usually the primary love relation of one's life is a source for all the other loving activities in that life."
p34- "Each activity we undertake is a response to God's love and presence, a part of his salvific presence and mission."
p35- All tools used fore creation are sacred because they are "involved in the opus of God, the Mass of creation" I feel this truth while gardening or baking.
p37- Contemplation should be part of our lives-this is important to see Christ in everything and everyone.
p38- True vocational discernment touches all parts of your life!
p45- Temporary vocations are nothing to be ashamed of.
p50- "Does voluntary termination of a perduring commitment always imply some failure?" --When yes, that would explain the bad feelings as regards jobs and school that are quit.
p52- We are called to enter deeper into the mystery of Christ.
p55- When we are in accord with Christ, we feel our vocational calling resonating within our lives.
p60- We must stay motivated to call forth the ideal of our vocation without being too discouraged to continue.
p60- "The fascination of trifles obscures the good. Daily coping with the real can cause us to lose our ideal or undermine its power to draw us. We need constantly to be renewed in our vision."
p63- We should "choose a word and carry it with us through the day and night. More often than not...it will burst into fire...If each day one word of our Master comes alive in us we will soon have the mind of Christ."
~It is important to spend time with Christ.
p88- Discerning what to do requires a good balance of three items: Prayer, Reflection, and Consultation. More of those things for some decisions, less for others.
p91- Awareness of options is better than choosing the first thing that comes along. Giving up one thing and fully taking on something else can be hard, and it can lead one to regret if the new thing is not whole-heartedly taken on.

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(Crossposted on Blogspot)

Sonje…
Yes, who is it?
Sonje…
Yes, who is it?

Like Samuel, I heard my name called. Like Samuel, I did not know who or what was calling my name. But the innermost part of me responded with the question: “How can I be like you?” I asked this question of Reverend Stacy Alan. She proceeded to explain a basic process and outline the calling of the priesthood as she understood it. At the time of asking, my rational mind did not know what my soul was asking. However, my spirit and heart knew precisely the intent of the question since they had compelled my mouth to speak. Only a few months prior to that moment, I had returned to the Christian faith and had started attending Episcopal services. Often during Eucharist, I would see the congregation from the perspective of the officiant. The feeling that I felt during those brief moments of skewed perspective was that of infinite love. It is one of those overwhelming wow feelings that is confusing and good at the same time.

When I heard God speaking to me, calling me to be an example to His people, I felt as though I had found a purpose to my life. I have struggled to balance being in control of my life and letting God do with it as He will.

For a while, I tried to refuse God’s purpose for me. But everywhere I tried to run, He pursued. As part of my attempt to run away, I enrolled in a graduate program in Medieval Studies with the goal of becoming a professor or scholar in the field. It did not hold my interest very well except in the History of Theology class. So, I transferred to Comparative Religion with the hope that I would be able to study more religion. Every class I took in that department was sociology or anthropology, but I kept being drawn to find ways of applying the information from class to my life. I kept seeking the Truth.

Only one of the classes really allowed me to explore a more practical approach and that was the Critical Theory class. I chose to read the prophets and analyze them using both their contexts and the theories we were covering in class. Reading the prophets opened me to having my heart catch fire in the reading of scripture.

Even after realizing that I am meant to deal intimately and expressively with scripture, I still struggle with my worthiness of becoming a priest. But God, in His infinite humor, will not let me be. That gentle whisper tugs at my innermost being, calling me to serve in full consuming public ministry. Seeking holy orders does not seem like a rational choice to me, but a right choice. I know that a life of service to God and His people will not always be easy, but I hope that it will be as joy filled as the message I am called to preach.

Ship-of-Fools 40 ideas for a better Lent. Some of them are harder than others.

MP3 prayers of the Daily Office as put together by Jesuits. Downloadable for whatever MP3 player you have.

Technology: making a better Lent, one MP3 at a time.

The season of Lent is upon us. Tonight my husband and I will be going to the 7pm Ash Wednesday service at our church. We will pray the long prayers and litanies that begin the season of waiting and fasting in anticipation of Easter.

I have yet to figure out what discipline I will take on, or what I will omit this season. Last year we read the books of Samuel. One year I gave up chocolate. I'm sure that by the end of the day something will have come into my heart and mind.

Here are some words from my Bishop's letter for the month:
Lent is a time when we remember that Jesus is our liberator (which is the literal meaning of Redeemer, by the way). The traditional Lenten disciplines of prayer, almsgiving, and fasting all point toward freedom. Lent invites us to do two things. First, it asks us to take a searching inventory of our own hearts (a good starting place is the Ash Wednesday litany on pp. 267-269 of the Prayer Book) and courageously to identify the ways that we’re trapped. That inventory might well include the resolution to “give up” something. I encourage you to think of this practice as an opportunity especially to let go of a major obstacle to your growth as a Christian. Second, Lent invites to gaze at Jesus on the cross and to contemplate the price of our freedom. That’s where Lent is going, after all: to Calvary, and to the Empty Tomb. Jesus died to set us free from whatever binds us. He is the Lamb of God whose death takes away the sin of the world. He is the liberator whose Spirit changes us from the inside out. Nothing is beyond his power.

Viva la Freedom!

Friday (February 9, 2007) was my entry into the ministry at St. Margaret's House. They have an absolutely fabulous operation and I am honored and amazed to be able to be part of it. They are a day shelter for women and children in the area.

My part of the ministry will be in the preparation of lunch during the week on Tuesdays and Wednesdays (9am-1pm). This may or may not interfere with my ability to find part-time paid employment, but I am telling all potential employers that I am not able to work those hours.

The experiences that I gain there will hopefully give me a practical, working knowledge of one way in which one can serve others. Let me make clear that I have had service experiences before, but it has been a while. When I was in high school, I did Meals-on-Wheels. I've worked on 2 Habitat-for-Humanity houses. I've educated the untraveled about my experiences in other countries and helped them develop a more global view.

I hope that I can deal with the poverty of others without having major flashbacks to my childhood. Flashbacks are fine so long as they are not debilitating to my ability to work with others. Quite simply, I am terrified of returning to poverty. Unfortunately, this has led me to some very non-healthy temptations (the lottery). I am dealing with it in a healthy manner (every time I am tempted, I put either the amount of money I would have spent on lottery or a note in a jar) and realizing that I am human. And that even when I don't trust that our needs will be met, God comes through for my family and our household.

Reading Radical Hospitality by Father Daniel Homan,OSB and Lonni Collins Pratt has been helpful and enlightening thus far.
It is always easier to care for the world, to care for all others, from a distance. We can even feel good about our prayers for them as long as the people are not in our space and are not taking up emotional space in our hearts. They become harder to handle when they show up and expect something from us.
The hardest thing about all these people is their absolute otherliness, which cannot be tamed or ignored. They are going to remain unlike us. We are not going to understand them.
We should celebrate this. We need them to be different from us. It fits in the way the universe has been designed.
We don't have to make a choice about how we will respond to others, as long as they stay on their side of the fence. In the wilderness of relationships, we contend with powers we'd rather not ever meet up with. We will keep opening the door, and keep making an attempt, and then one night will find us in some holy place and in a holy moment that snatches the breath away.

So, I am ready to make choices about how I will respond to others. Others who are in pain and those who are “working the system”. They will never be the same as I am, but I hope we will be able to become the best that we are able to be. I hope that the guests and volunteers and staff at St. Margaret's House become open to how God works in our lives. (Now that I am a volunteer there, I include myself in that list)

In my previous post, I remarked on the sacraments primarily from an intellectual and analytical point of view. On further reflection, it seemed best to also comment on the personal impact that the sacraments have made on my life.

First a few statements (these are broadly applicable to me--not just to sacraments):
1. Sometimes I feel their effects more powerfully than others.
2. Sometimes I don't feel anything at all.
3. Sometimes I'm afraid that if I share my feelings, I will be deemed crazy or somehow not rational.

( feelings )

From the 1979BCP pg 857

"Q: What are the sacraments?
A: The sacraments are outward and visible signs of inward and spiritual grace, given by Christ as sure and certain means by which we receive that grace."
-Sacrament comes from the word to consecrate or to make holy. It also comes from oath of allegiance or obligation. (Merriam-Webster)
-We as humans, do not make things holy. We can designate and set aside those things that we have been told (either through scripture or revelation) should be holy. We can offer prayers and other supplications to ask them to be made holy.
-Sacraments are not only those things and rituals that are holy. As the catechism says, they are "outward and visible signs of inward and spiritual grace" It is important for the community of faith to see the ways in which God moves in the world. We do these things to show the world what we have already received. To show them and to show us, to remind us of the glorious gift that we have been given through God's grace.
- Participating in the sacraments is a way of promising that we are following the Way that Christ set out for us.
- Because Christ gave us those rites, they are authorized tools to receive God's favor. We are marked as Christ's own forever.

"Q: What is grace?
A: Grace is God's favor towards us, unearned and undeserved; by grace God forgives our sins, enlightens our minds, stirs our hearts, and strengthens our wills."
- "unearned and undeserved"... We do nothing to earn God's favor towards us--performing those outward and visible signs does not guarantee that we receive God's grace. We have been given it before we accept its giving in our performance of sacrament. Performing the rites of sacrament indicates our willingness to accept God's forgiveness and love.
- It, of course, possible that one could perform the rite and then feel the grace.
- Through God's grace, we feel better able to meet the challenges of our daily lives and to find joy even in times of crisis.

"Q: What are the two great sacraments of the Gospel?
A: The two great sacraments given by Christ to his Church are Holy Baptism and the Holy Eucharist."
- The two sacraments that are given in the Gospel are the first of belonging (both metaphysically and in community) and that of remembrance (of our salvation, of our baptism, of our union with Christ, of the sacrifice that was given for our sake). It is important that these two are the ones (of all possible sacraments) that are common through most, if not all, Christian communities. In being baptized, we join the worldwide community. In taking and giving communion, we are sharing in the history of the church, the communal aspects of breaking bread together, and in the renewal of our salvation.
- By participating in the sacraments of the Gospel, we allow God to make us into a holy people.

Most Holy Lord, As students of life, we are gathered before you. We stand
here as willing partners in your Kingdom. Please show us the best way for
each of us to live in this world. May we, with your help, strive to
create peace, wholeness, unity, and wellbeing wherever we may journey.
Thank you for all the blessings of this life and thank you especially for
your son, our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

( Standing )
(written May 24, 2004)

Lord, grant us the wisdom to listen to you, to one another. Allow us to know when to comfort, when to support, when to offer counsel and when to stay silent. Grant us courage to discover your will, even when the path seems hard. May your name be celebrated eternal, praised by all peoples, all nations! God of all, who grants wisdom and courage, grant also peace on all creation! These things we ask of you, for the sake of your son, Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you eternal. Amen.

A look at my interpretation of the theology behind the BCP service of Holy Baptism pg 299

"There is one Body and one Spirit; There is one hope in God's call to us"
-In Baptism, we are joined in the mystical body of Christ and in the communal body of the Church.
This implies that as parts of a body, we all have a purpose and a function within both those overlapping bodies.
"There is one hope in God's call to us" has no meaning without the greater portion of common themes of redemption, salvation, etc. The question that arises in one who has not learned the traditional answers is "What is this one hope?"

"One Lord, one Faith, one Baptism; One God and Father of all"
-This is a statement of further unity, also a statement of the unity within God. One Lord seems to mean Jesus Christ. One Faith seems to mean one primary belief that is revealed in the sacrament of Baptism.

Collect for Baptism-BCP pg 254
"Almighty God, by our baptism into the death and resurrection of your Son Jesus Christ, you turn us from the old life of sin: Grant that we, being reborn to new life in him, may live in righteousness and holiness all our days; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen"

-This prayer is a summary of what happens in baptism. In being baptised, we die and are reborn. Therefore, all Christians who are baptised are born again. This makes the term "born again Christian" rather redundant. Once I told someone that when he said he was a born again Christian and he got all thoughtful and declared he wasn't going to use that phrase anymore.
-The declaration of desire for righteousness and holiness is interesting to be stated here. Baptism wipes the slate clean, but we still need to live in righteousness and holiness. There of course is room for repentence and the like, but that does not exempt us from trying to live rightly, justly, and in good relation with our planet and God.

( Now the question and answer session: )

Then the congregation is asked to join in the Baptismal Covenant portion of the service.
( Apostle's Creed + promises )

Although I am skipping part of the service at this point, I feel that it is important to wrap up this post with the prayer that happens directly after the baptism.

"Heavenly Father, we thank you that by water and the Holy Spirit you have bestowed upon these your servants the forgiveness of sin, and have raised them to the new life of grace. Sustain them, O Lord, in your Holy Spirit. Give them an inquiring and discerning heart, the courage to will and to persevere, a spirit to know and to love you, and the gift of joy and wonder in all your works. Amen"